what was the lowest point of the day?

2012:
Can't think of any.. except for few minutes in afternoon when I was feeling sleepy and sleep deprived! ;) Still trying to catch up on sleep from the long weekend.

2013:
Things are looking up lately.. so, no low points.. but when I was talking to JK and he made a comment on why things aren't coming as quickly as he expected and his patience is being tested, my heart almost dropped with a thought that we might go back to square one. I'm so not ready for it. Finally, kids have hopes of better future, they're looking forward to it. Things not working about would be a cruel joke! (6/13/13)

2018:
Yes, we did go back to square one, and THEN, some!!!
Last night, as I got home, Domino's cold pizza was waiting for dinner. Then, JK mentioned that he was going to attend friend's  (from ISKON) daughter's wedding in Vancouver. I told him that it's out of the questions and he said that it's only for 2-3 days and I responded that he shouldn't be going till all financial mess is sorted out. He changed the subject rather than discussing further about it. And that was end of the conversation. I already know that he can care less about my opinion and will go regardless of the fact that he can't afford it.

update (6/22/18): He did go to the wedding and hasn't talked to me since...

What hobbies do I have?

2012:
My current hobbies are scrapbooking, reading, trying out new recipes and hiking. I also tried out crochet for a little while, loved it, but haven't touched for a while.

2013:
 Same as last year, except I haven't touched crochet in a while and you can call house hunting my new hobby!

2018:
Crochet, scrapbooking, hiking, reading (been reading/listening to lots of non-fiction), listening to podcasts,...

What do I love the most about what I get to do everyday?

2012:
As far as work goes, I love the troubleshooting the best! Trying out different scenarios to figure out what's causing the problems, how to get them fixed, what's working, what's not working... Just love that part of my job.

At home, I love trying out new recipes and have kids try them out, getting them excited about it and add it to our regular recipes. Kids love to try out new things and it's fun working together with them!

2013:
Lately, it's been hanging out in girls' room! It's fun planning out our new home, window shopping, planning out our new hanging spot. I love every moment of this process.

2018:
Nothing much! Don't care much for the job, although it's probably dream job of many. Working at Tesla just reminds me how I can never afford this car, no matter how good it is and how much I like. I started doing Final Confirmation a bit and I do like that process, it's away from everyone and the politics, I can be just on my own, play my music if I want...

At home, the onl part I enjoy is when I get to hang out with Avni late night after everyone's gone to sleep. Now that Neil is home, I'm hoping to have more late night hang outs with him too.

What did I have most fun doing today?

2012:
Today, I went to Yosemite with Nima, Vidhi, Henal, Kalpu and Avni. Entire day was so much fun!!!! We got to go very close to the lower Yosemite fall! Then, we hiked to Vernal falls. We truly didn't believe that Nima and her girls would be able to hike that far up. But With little bit of encouragement, they all hiked all the way up there! Weather was perfect for it too!

2013:
This maybe a bit weird, but we were at rodeo clean up and Mary Moran and I got the hold of 'picker-upper' thingys and we had a blast cleaning up , picking up trash from the grand stand. It was just so much fun for both us!

2018:
Memorial Day today. Started out with Murgh WOD - 1 mile run, 100 pull-ups, 200 push-ups, 300 squats, finishing with another mile run. I didn't get to finish the run though. I was great to see everyone and workout out after a month!

Later, Went cherry picking with Avni and Neil. Stopped by to eat ice cream at Milk in Pleasanton. Finished the day by cooking Enchilada pasta casserole in Instant Pot. Pretty good day!!!

What music did I hear today?

2012:
None really. However, during SatyaNarayan katha at mom's the guy was singing the bhajans and dhuns in very beautiful voice! It was just outstanding! I actually recorded two of them!

2013:
I had my phone on shuffle and heard garba, movie songs, dhun... just about everything!

2018:
Pretty much all kind. Here at Tesla, too many people play their music on bluetooth speakers at the point of it becoming annoying.

Where do I wish I was?

2012:
Considering that I was camping with Girls Scouts, but at mom's home, there were Nima, Ronak, Dolly, mama and rest of the family... I kept wishing all day that I was at mom's home. I did volunteer for kitchen staff at my own will and I wouldn't back out of it, but I just knew everyone was having lots fun and laughter there and it was the kind of family gathering that doesn't happen too often. It was the first visit to CA for Ronak and Nima. Not sure when they'll ever come back.. specially both together at the same time.

2013:
Ok, so I'm going to wish that I was already at our new home and start to settle in! Time is ticking! Can't wait!

2018:
Anywhere else but where I am right now. I'm just so sick and tired!!!! I wish I was at Santram Mandir in Nadiad right now with MJ.

Did I have a dream last night? Describe it.

2012:
It was the most unusual dream. I was in Santram Mandir(as usual). The amazing thing was Neil (I am pretty sure it was Neil) was getting 'Sanyas'. I was giving him away to the temple. Then, MJ came outside and took me to the side, away from other people. He walked with me and I was having mix feelings of being fortunate to give Neil to his service and missing him. I almost had a small cry(gasp) and MJ gave me comfort that everything will be alright.

The strangest thing about the dream was that Neil was cooking scrambled eggs for breakfast in the morning. As he was eating the eggs, he told me that he was feeling guilty about eating eggs. He has NEVER said something like that or felt that way. I was just super shocked to hear him say that. I quietly told him that if he doesn't feel right to eat eggs, he can stop eating them.

2013:
You'd think that I've started to dream about our new home, but not yet. Most of my dreams are related to Mandir and MJ.

Did I use my time wisely today?

2012:
I wish! I really need to get better at time management!

2013:
I need more projects to use my time. Right now, it's plain boring, not much going on. However, I suspect that I might get busy soon, so I will just enjoy the calm before the storm.

2018:
Worked (volunteered) 12 hours, came home, had dinner and went to sleep. Working 12 hours of overtime on my day off, rather than just chill at home... I guess I used my time wisely!

What was the last thing that hurt me?

2012:
I try my best not to sweat the small stuff, but once in a while, something very small hurts me for days.

I hardly ever sit down to watch TV. Last Friday, at dinner table, kids and I talked about watching TV/movie together. We debated what to watch and finally agreed upon something. I started washing dishes after the dinner. Kids were waiting for me to start the movie. KNOWING that we had planned to watch the movie, ba-dada started their movie on purpose. They have the control on TV pretty much 24/7. One day that I decide to spend some time with kids and watch TV with them, they just had to have to urge to watch Indian movie. I would've been ok with Indian movie.. it was actually one of the movie that i DO like.. it just wasn't done the right way. Even kids do like to watch Indian movies. But every once in a while, we also like to watch something English even on 'family nights'. Even kids picked up on it and Neil came to me to said, "I guess we're not watching movie tonight." They all went upstairs and hung out together in room.

2013:
When JK misplaced his phone and blamed me for hiding it. I've gotten over it, but it still hurts that he seriously believes that I would hide it from him on purpose.

2018:
Speaking of hiding.... few days ago, I found soaked almonds in the oven (Yes, oven!). So, I ate few from there, 2 to be exact. I figured, MIL will figure out that I ate them and maybe, just maybe start soaking few extras to accommodate me.  I mean, we used to soak them before all the time and share with everyone. I don't know when this started again. Next time I remember to look for them in oven, there were none. So, I thought maybe she forgot and only soaked once in a while. I checked again this morning and found them all the way back behind the pots in the oven. I was FUMING!!!! Why on earth would she feel the need to hide them in the first place? And then, she was found out, she finds ANOTHER hiding place? For the first one, I was trying to give her benefit of doubt that maybe she didn't want bugs or anything, but she could've just covered the bowl with a dish. But whatever! Now, I knew for sure that it was really done to hide it from me! I tried to calm down, but 10 minutes later, I woke (it was 4:45am, I was on my way to work) JK up, showed him what was done and he shrugged it off saying she eats them to help with her aching knee. But WHY is she hiding it from there. He dumped it on me saying if I had a problem with it, I should talk to her about it. NO! You're her son, you're my husband. You talk to her about it and act like a husband for once. UGH!!!! So, yeah, I guess I was more furious than hurt, but it does hurt that JK always have some kind of excuse for her vile behavior and dumps the blame on me that I see things when there are none.(5/26/18)

Describe my day in six word sentence.

2012:
Productive day in scrapbooking and work.

2013:
Fun, gross, tiring day at Rodeo clean up. (6/9/13)

2018:
Fun, relaxed day at mom's home!
(Kalpu came home early from work, so I got to hang out with her. NEil and Avni came by later and as we were talking about birthday cakes for me and Anuj, they went to Safeway to pick up cake just for fun. Then, we played Spyfall game on phone till 9. Awesome, awesome day!)

What is the last thing I settled for?

2012:
It feels like I've been settling for so many things for so long, I stopped settling for anything anymore. I can't think of anything right now at top of my head, but it could be because I've learned to live without things and think of it as a norm. For example, spending $15 on haircut once a year at most. I've never paid for eyebrows or manicure or pedicure. Have never visited salons or any pampering places. Is that because I never cared for it or because I'm too scared to even find out the cost to 'want' to do anything with it? I love jewelry but I can't remember the last time I bought anything for myself. Loved wearing watch, now I don't have any. There are many more things that I've settled for that I can't even remember anymore.

2013:
I've settled for not having meaningful relationship with JK. I've come to learn that soon after I put my faith and hope in it, he totally crashes my hopes and dreams about it. Just go with the flow and not let anything bother me has been my mantra lately.

2018:
Sad to say things haven't changed much in 6 years, but I'm learning not to settle for less.

What is the prevailing truth about my day?

2012:
I don't know. maybe the fact that spending time with my family always cheers me up and brings me out from the darkness of my life.

2013:
It's the waiting game. I want the results and definite answer. Done with playing the waiting, waiting, waiting game!

2018:
Still waiting!!!

What am I waiting for?

2012:
I'm waiting for JK to get his work/project going so that life can be a less financial stressful.

2013:
JK is MUCH closer to the goal and we're all waiting on pins and needles to hear the final words that we're clear to buy our dream home. (6/10/13)

2018:
HA! What a joke! We're still waiting! But not really. Moving on. We're doing just fine if not fabulous. 

What do I wish I had said today?

2012:
I think I've said whatever I've needed to say. However, I'm sleeping over at Mom's tomorrow and hiking on Saturday. So, I'm sure I'm forgetting something that I need to tell kids.. about making sure to pack something for the hike.

2013:
 Oh.. I went to Kalpu's for lunch today and meant to talk to her about hiking trip to Yosemite on Saturday to see if she wants to come. I totally forgot to tell her about it!

2018:
I leave home too early in the morning at 5AM, so not really any chance to say anything to anyone. But, Akriti contacted me today to talk about Deep and I did make sure to tell her that whatever happened and happens in future, it is NOT her fault.

What was in my email today?

2012:
Besides the daily spam emails... Neil and Avni's grades/homework emails, some reminders about Neil's boy Scouts, reminders from schools, emails from Vitamix and Preserve food yahoo groups and some newsletters. No personal emails.

2013:
No personal email so far. Just a bunch of spam and subscribed emails.

What was the biggest decision I made today?

2012:
Not too sure. At work, I worked as usual. Beth(my boss is on vacation), so I work a bit with Janis. I was hoping to get out of work early because Ronak and Dolly just came to town, but couldn't get out till 6 because of some unfinished work. I supposed, I can say that even though I was tempted to leave early, I decided to finish up the work before leaving even though I had whole two more weeks to get it done.

2013:
It's a work day. Not much to make a decision for. Lately, I've been making list for shopping and what goes where in each room in new home.

2018:
Nothing big. It was mom's birthday today, so I had planned to take her out to lunch at Namaste Pizza. But just as I was about to leave and pulled directions, I realized that the restaurant was closed. So, I had to make a quick decision on where to go. AS I don't go out much, it's a hard one. But decided to take her Favorite Restaurant. WE took mom there last year or the year before and she liked it.So I knew it was a safe bet. Dad enjoyed it too! It was his first time out in two weeks after his foot surgery. HE was very happy about the lunch out. He said that it had been a while since he ate out. So, all in all, I'm glad hat I took them out for dinner even though Kalpu wasn't home .. My original plan was to take mom out for lunch for Mother's Day, when Kalpu and I both were available. But due to schedule conflicts it wasn't going to happen for few weeks.

Today, the weather was....

2012:
sunny and pleasant. It was in 70's with cool breeze. Just perfect!

2013:
Thunderstorms!!! How often do we get TStorms here? And I was so tired from rodeo clean up that I slept right thru it!!!

What did I leave undone today?

2012:
I wanted to start working on one more page for Week in Life project, but didn't get started. I might get something going before going to sleep though.

2013:
I needed to

THIS post!!! Above is all I had from 5/14/13 and today it's 6/10!!!

Why was today unique?

2012:
Well, it's Mother's day! Kids went out to the store at 7AM to buy flowers for me. Then, they made breakfast - crepes. Crepes with lemon and honey was REALLY good! In the afternoon, Avni and I worked on scrapbooking. Later, Neil, Avni and I went to Costco to buy contact lens for them. Came home and made calzone pizza for dinner. I've DVD player that can play YouTube on it for over 2 yrs. But I never got around to wire up internet on it. Finally, I got it working today! Talk about overcoming procrastination!

2013:
This was the first Mother's Day where JK totally forgot about it in the morning. He slept in till 8:30. I just thought he might've had everything under control and told kids what to do. I didn't think of it much. but I didn't hear much activity in kitchen either. Later, I was showing JK the photos (not even realizing that he had forgotten about about) Kalpu and Pinal sent me  about what their kids made for breakfast for them. without saying any word, he rushed downstairs. Later, he told me that he totally forgot about it till I was showing him the photos! When he went to wake up kids, they were already in the kitchen almost done making breakfast! Neil shredded the potatoes and made fresh hash browns, scrambled eggs and together, they made breakfast quesadilla with hash browns, eggs, refried beans and salsa.

In the evening, we went to Kalpu's home, where kids made pizza rolls and cheesy garlic bread. All from scratch, without any help from adults! Avni and Arnav teamed up to make dough for pizza rolls and Neil and Anuj teamed up to make dough for cheesy breads. Both items turned out perfect!!! This was the first time kids made the dough on their own.

How much money is in my wallet today?

2012:
$2!!! I do most of my transactions with debit card, so I hardly carry any cash on me. Using debit card helps me keep track of the money spent.

2013:
I just gave $6 to Avni the other day for after-game stop to eat. So, now I have nothing left! Don't prefer to carry cash around.

What's the most expensive thing that I own that I can carry?

2012:
There isn't much I carry that's expensive unless you count wedding jewelry. Second close is my iMac. Sad to say but other than my electronic gadgets, everything else doesn't have much value. My dSLR is probably easier to carry than iMac though. :)

2013:
I haven't acquired anything new this year that would be more expensive than what I already have!

Still the same! The prices on iPhones have gone up, so probably, that would add to the list. Other than that, my external hard drive. Hard drive itself isn't expensive, but the digital kits stored on it, are worth thousands of dollars (yes, 10 years worth of my shopping) and of course, the photos on it are priceless!!!

2019:
Most probably my iPhone X.

I really wish ___ hadn't been invented.

2012:
Not sure... Video games?

2013:
I'm early adapter of new technology, so I'm not sure I can come up with anything that I wish didn't get invented.

2018:
On a light note, I really wish Amazon wasn't invented. It's making me spend way too much money, not to mention Avni.. there is always something at the doorstep that she had ordered.

2019:
I believe all inventions are good if they are used in moderation and the way they are meant to be used.

Today I lost...

2012:
momentum of working out. It's 3rd day that I haven't run or walk. Mostly because I've always had places to take kids to and not having time. But still, it's not an acceptable excuse. I Should've make time for it one way or the other.

2013:
momentum of scrapping. I don't think I did anything at all! Yesterday, I scrapped one page from start to finish, which was a first in a long time! After finding Project Life, I haven't done traditional (in digi) page. so, it was refreshing, but I need to get back to PL before I fall behind.

2018:
My mind? I don't know why, but I feel really down for no reason. Almost want to just hide my face in pillow and cry my heart out! No idea what triggered it, but it's like everything is getting dumped on me all at the same time and there is no breathing room for me.Anyway, pity party over and it's time to get back to being content and happy because only I can change my situations!!!

2019:
my emotional control and cried my heart out.... AGAIN!!! It just feels like I just can't catch up and I'm stuck in hamster wheel. There is no way out and no end to it. Lack of emotional support doesn't help either.

How many pairs of shoes do I own?

2012:
 I have NO idea! Not many though. I have daily black shoes, hiking shoes, running shoes, a pair of boots, summer shoes, white flip flops and few dress shoes(Indian).

2013:
 I don't think I bought any new ones. I did get boots from Avni/Pooja for Christmas gift.

2018:
Too man that didn't fit me during my search of replacing the one I had worn out. Besides all those, one pair of flat, boots, steel toe shoes for work, two pairs of hiking boots (bought Merrell ones for my Everest trip), crossFit boots, and two more summer sandals.

What rule had the most impact on my day?

2012:
CANI - Constant and Never-ending Improvement by Anthony Robins.

I just started training for half-marathone yesterday and my goal was to improve in some way from my run/walk yesterday. Yesterday I had walked for 44 minutes/3.1 miles, so I made sure to walk for more than 44 minutes or improve the speed or distance. I ended up walking for 52 minutes/3.5 miles. I will try my best to improve little by little everyday (except for rest days). It gives me hope that I may be prepared for the marathon by end of the month, although everywhere that I've read, it says that I need to train for 3 months. Well, I don't have 3 months. I'm going to try my best with what I've got.

2013:
Show patience and  forgiveness.

As hard as it is, I've been working on this. Today, JK lost the SIM card from his shirt pocket (it just flew out of his pocket as he took out his shirt) and once again, blamed it on me (even if it was just for 5 seconds) that I had something to do with it. I took a deep breathe and decided not to react on it. Even pretended that it never happened. As it is... he blamed me for hiding his phone a month ago and I JUST forgave him 2 days ago.. I have decided to stop that cycle. Even if it is at my disadvantage. Because what MJ has been saying all along is SO true! Holding on to anger against someone is like holding on to hot coal. Only YOU get hurt by it. The other person has no care in the world about you holding anger against him/her.

2018:
Stay away from FaceBook.

I decided to stay away from FB for entire day today and used that downtime to read a book. The book has already helped me get thru the day today. (Girl, Wash Your Face by Rachel Hollis) Happiness is in your hands, only you have control over it. If you're not happy, do something about it. Helped me with my anger at work. Also, coincidentally, I remember MJ's words about holding anger against someone. Doesn't do any good for me, but hurt myself.

(Describe) Favorite pair of shoes I own right now

2012:
The one I wear everyday. I'm not a shoe person. All I care about is something that goes with everything, neutral color(usually black) and is comfortable to walk in. Slip ins, no ties, no laces. No high heels.

2013:
Still the same. Not really the shoe person.The one I'm wearing right now... it's comfortable, slip-in, black, goes with everything.

2018:
Knee-high boots that I got from Nordstrum. They're comfy, works for walking, work, even hiking, if I don't care for them to get dirty.

How did I relax today?

2012:
Considering it's National Scrapbooking Day (and Cinco de Mayo, but we celebrated it yesterday), it was pretty good day! First thing I did in the morning was to finish up decorating the Bingo card and post in forum. That was fun to make! Joined the bingo game in chat room at 10. In afternoon, I shopped for scrapping kits. After that, after dropping Avni to the library, I walked/ran for 3 miles (in 44 minutes). Stopped by to get my hair cut. It's been over a year that I had my hair cut the last time! Went to Sally's to get hair color, came home and colored the hair. Ended the evening with another bingo game in chat room. This was my first time playing the game and it was fun. Now, I've been busy filing away the kits I shopped and downloaded. At 9, Amazing Digi Scrapping Race posted the very first challenge. Challenge is to pick a bad photo and turn it into a beautiful LO. So, today has been the most relaxing day on many fronts! I can't believe how many things I've packed in a day that I did yet, it was easy, laid back day! Perfect!

2013:
Another year of Cinco de Mayo and NSD on the same weekend! I needed to pick up boys from Los Mochos from Camporee, so I went off at 9. It was beautiful drive and I even missed a turn and drove extra 5 miles! Turned out that boys didn't need me, so I asked Jody to ride home with me. We had the best time talking without having to worry about the boys. In afternoon, I shopped for few more kits, took Neil to cooking merit badge. Rather than going inside the house, I stayed in the car to read. Later in the evening I worked on catching up with scrapbooking the Project Life page.

The store I frequent the most is...

2012:
Safeway, New Delhi Bazar and Costco. Safeway for mostly milk, New Delhi for fresh produce and Costco for everything else. And of course, Santos for major grocery purchases.

As far as other stores go, I hardly shop much. Take kids to Kohls, Target, Walmart and mall once in a while. As long as there is tight budget, not much room for shopping.

2013:
Other than grocery shopping, it's Sally's for fun shopping with Pooja and Avni. Even if we come home empty handed, it's fun to browse thru beauty products.. mostly hair products. 

What makes me feel alive?

2012:
Nature walk, hiking, family gathering, troubleshooting, having fun with kids, photography, scrapbooking, reading a good book...

2013:
Spending time with family/kids, Kalpu, mom.. talking to Pinal... along with hiking, scrapbooking, cooking new recipe.

Who was the last person I spoke with?

2012:
Besides the family at home, I talked to Pinal at 7PM. We've been talking about airline tickets for June and I just got email with one good offer, so I sent it to her to check it out. Our tentative plan is for me to go to Chicago when Prexa is visiting and have Nikhil and Dilan come with me. She would come to pick them up after few weeks.

2013:
It was a great day with family and friends! Sangita and her family (Sanjaykumar, Payal, Prutha) were visiting mom, so I went to mom's home after work. They were there till almost 10. Then, we hung out with Kalpu's brother Upendrabhai till midnight. Dad and Dharmesh checked out early, but mom, me, Kalpu and Upendrabhai had great many belly laughs till midnight! It's always so much fun to hang out with him.

Who was kind to me today?

2012:
Almost everyone that I interacted with. I've been fortunate to be working with upbeat people. Janis helped me out with solving a mystery about one course. I had one on one meeting with Beth. She's been a great boss to me. Talked with Tina for a little while after the meeting with Beth. It's always fun to talk with Darcy! When I'm feeling down I almost always reach out to Darcy and Lisa to divert my mind to upbeat thoughts.

2013:
As Kerry and I were taking our daily walk, we were talking about dealing with mean people in her life. Which brought me to talk about mean  people in my life. I told her how I deal with it and refuse to participate in the argument or their games. She was very kind and compassionate about what I'm having to deal with.