What did I read today?

2012:
I just finished reading the book Scandalon - A Memoir by Susan Elaine Jenkins. The book was recommended to me by Kerry. She knew author's brother in her college days. Author had gone to school in Livermore, so that added a bit of interest for me. It's the book about  author's journey thru rough times and life in China for 10 years.

2013:

 Just finished reading mini book.. 14 Days to Ignite Your Marraige by Terri Bonin. It has 14 tips on how to save/repair the marriage. While I liked all the tips, they're all one-sided. Only wife is supposed work towards making things work, regardless of the situation. Truly and honestly, it's rubbing the wrong side for me. But, I'll do this for my MJ.

The tips are to shrink the calendar, let go of the details, cook everyday, set welcoming environment for when he gets home from work, go to sleep at the same time, consider bigger picture, not to use sex as benefit or tool, thank him for everything, let go of the urge to win the argument, freshen up the wardrobe for bedtime, look your best, find things for him, reorganize his close... and PRAY that all this works.

2019:
Ready Player One by Ernest Cline. It's the genre I don't normally read/listen. Sci-Fi, gaming, dystopian. But it kept my interest and might finish entire book in a day. It was even a longer book than normal.  Sixteen hours of audiobook! There is a movie out based on the book (that's what attracted me to get the book), I might look for it over the weekend and watch it.

Where do I want to go next?

2012:
Not sure what 'next' means. I don't feel like I've gone anywhere yet. BUT, if it's just about the future in general, I want to move from here and start the life all over. Reorganize the home, declutter, 'out with the old and in with the new' stuff. I'm sooo ready for it! As far as physical location, I'm thinking of going to Chicago in June. I really wanted to go to India with kids, but I'm not sure if that's happening anytime soon.

2013:
Actually, scared to think of 'next'. At this moment, it's not looking bright, no matter how optimistic I want to be. My heart aches just thinking about it! Deep down, I want JK and me to be the best friends, who can agree with each other, or at least respect each other's opinion (agree to disagree and move on) and respect each other.

2018:
Just got back from Mt Everest Base Camp. Not sure if I can ever top that trip!! Definitely want to go somewhere with kids though. Maybe even EBC again with kids!

Who am I jealous of?

2012:
Being jealous is just not part of my personality! If someone has something better than me or something I've always wanted, I would either try my best to work on it to get it or just be happy for them that at least they have it. Just being jealous won't get me anywhere.

2013:
Nah, not jealous of anyone. Not worth it!

2018:
Nope. No one!What's the point?

Today was tough because...

2012:
Actually, it was an easy day. Not much going on at work. Got home from work, sent Neil to Camporee, had dinner and went to the movie. Couldn't be an easier day than this.

2013:
On the surface it was an easy day. Went to pick up Avni from her overnight Rope Course trip. Even took a nap after lunch! Took Neil to Cooking merit badge meeting and then, made idli manchoorian for dinner.
However, it was a tough day in a sense that I REALLY had to practice self-control to ignore nasty comments about myself.

What is the last thing that made me cry?

2012:
Hummm.. depends. Some movies make me cry. Last thing that made me cry is probably the financial stress or the loneliness. As much as I try to ignore either of them, every once in a while it hits me hard.

2013:
Yes, I've learned not to cry over loneliness or the humiliation I tend to receive almost on daily basis lately. However, I did have an emotional day about a month ago, when I was crying most of the day (whenever I was alone). It was triggered by something I read about Pooja and it had made me worried sick. I did have a long talk with Pooja and while not all my worries/doubts are put to rest, I have better handle on it.

2018:
It has been a while, but I get my moments, where everything hits me at the same time and I think to myself, how long can I go on like this? How long do I have to go on like this? Will I ever get a break?

What is the next major purchase do I need to make?

2012:
First thing I need to make purchase of is Pooja's car. So far, we've been ok, but when she comes home for summer and goes to college or finds a local job, we'll be in the need of another car. We'll see how it goes.

2013:
Well, we survived summer without the  car, but I ended up buying a car for me in February and handing down my car to Pooja.

humm. next major purchase is buying a home. I've been looking at the listings for few months now and kind of have an idea what I want. It's just the matter of finances now.

As far as the small purchases, I just bought camera lens (zoom 18-135mm) yesterday, since my zoom lens isn't working anymore since last spring. So, it's been over a year that I haven't used my camera much. Only have 50mm lens for now and it doesn't always work in all situations.

2018:
Other than the house, nothing is really needed. Just bought the foam gel mattress for Avni, because her Futon bed was pretty much done.

Was I creative today? how?

2012:
YES! Starting yesterday, I have been working on the project - A Week in the Life. I actually scrapped 2 pages today with the photos of yesterday! It feels good to be creative again.

2013:
My intention was to scrap another page of Project Life album, but instead, I worked on creating the keywords for the photos (in Aperture) and setting up the system for it - who, what, when, where. I'm looking forward to streamline the process and have a system in place and gradually work on all photos. Including rating them all, deleting the bad ones, duplicates and assigning the keywords.

What did I worry about?

2012:
I was concerned about not being able to complete sending out coupon codes to all Sponsor members of the site. I had Neil's Boy Scout meeting in the evening. Sure enough, I didn't get that done. I won't go to sleep tonight until I'm done with it.

2013:
I actually got quite a few things done that  were on my plate! Had an appointment with Apple Genius Bar to get my iPad fixed. Got a replacement iPad because battery wasn't working. Transferred the domain name of digi tutorial site to Traci Reed's name. I had meant to do that for months! Finally got a page done for Project Life.. I had been working on it for over 2 weeks! Watched the video that Beth had suggested me about Sadhguru.Overall, pretty good day! Nothing that made me worry about!

2018:
There is a lot that I SHOULD be worried about, but worrying isn't going to get me anywhere.unless I can actions.

Share a favorite quote.

2012:
Two Quotes:
You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.
I'm a strong person. But every now and then I would like someone to take my hand and say everything will be alright.

2013:
You don't have to attend every argument you're invited to. (inside joke with Avni and Neil)

In the wake of Boston marathon tragedy:
When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping. - Fred Rogers (of Mister Roger's Neighborhood - PBS)

2018:
Beauty captures the attention, but the personality captures the heart.

50 Years: here's a time when you have to separate yourself from what other people expect of you and do what you love. Because if you find yourself 50 years old and you aren't doing what you love, then what's the point?

Where did you spend most of the time today?

2012:
Not at home, that's for sure! Went to mom's for lunch, because everyone was coming back from meditation camp. Then, after coming home, took Avni to stores to shop for few things  for her. Came back and took Neil for his shopping. After dinner, went to visit Aditi's dad at her home and just got back at 11!

4/21/13:
Again.. not at home!
Started driving back from Yosemite at 10. After a stop for lunch/gas and waiting to everyone to get back to Elks Lodge, got back home at 1:30. Left for Arnav's home for his birthday party at 3:30. Stopped by at Pets Mart to buy Hamster toys.Got home at  about 9.

List 5 things I should've done today.

2012:
1. Send out the coupon codes to Sponsor members of my site.
2. Get my timecard done. I lost the connection to VPN 30 minutes after I was connected.
3. File some paperwork that's piling on my desk.
4. Clean out my desk.
5. Scrap.

2013:
Hiking at Yosemite valley floor.. so there is nothing better that I rather do! :) But.. let's see
1. Make a payment for my car loan
2. clean out my desk
3. finish watching Lightroom 5 class on Lynda.com
4. Scrap
5. Take Avni out to lunch (part of her 'journey' requirement for girl scouts)

What is the oldest thing I'm wearing today?

2012:
My black pants. It's been at least 3 years, if not more, that I've bought it.

2013:
Probably my bra.. been 5 years!

What is testing me?

2012:
My patience! I thought I had lots of patience for just about anything, but lately I seem to be losing it. I keep getting edgy about little things.

2013:
My Faith! Ever since MJ told me that I'm there to take care of JK and I have MJ to take care of me.. I keep questioning it. I know I shouldn't. But any time I lose my patience with JK, I have to remember what MJ said to me and hang on to his words.

What did I wear today?

2012:
Black pants and leopard print top that I've had for over 5 years. It's about time to update my wardrobe.

2013:
Black pants and green/bluish 'paint splash' top, that's my favorite!

Who is the last person I kissed?

2012:
Honestly, I don't remember. Must be one of the kids. I'm not too much into expressing myself with a kiss. That's just the way I'm wired.

2013:
That was Avni just few days ago. She is the one who needs reassurance more than Pooja or Neil.

I have faith that...

2012:
I will always be taken care of. No matter what kind of obstacles I get in life, I will be able to keep moving forward.

2013:
I have my MJ looking after me. No matter what happens, he'll have my back.

What is my favorite TV Show?

2012:
Considering we haven't had 'TV' for over 4 yrs, hard to say! However, I did watch last season of Downton Abby on Netflix over the summer and looked forward to new season. As soon as it was aired, I watched all episodes on PBS.org. Looking forward to the next season. Other than that, I might watch a show or two.. whatever kids have on from Netflix or Hulu Plus. Don't care much about TV anymore.

2013:
Downton Abby! That's the only show I've watched over the year. I don't even watch anything on Netflix anymore! I did try to catch up on Desperate Housewives few months back, but haven't got back to it in a while.

What did I forget?

2012:
I forgot what I forgot! ;)

2013:
LOL I iwsh it was that easy to remember what I forgot. But upon scratching my head, I remembered that I was supposed to send my driver license and insurance info to Fuzzy for Girls Scout driving trip. If it wasn't for this question, I really would've forgot to send it to her!

What fears did I have today?

2012:
I'm either too naive or ignorant, but I really don't have any fears.

2013:
None really. I refuse to think of what if JK's business doesn't pick up. Just not going to think about it because it WILL pick up. It HAS to!

List the people I live with

2012:
That would be JK, Neil, Avni, Ba and Dada and of course, Pooja when she's not in college! Right now, today, Arnav and Anuj are sleeping over for school days since they're still going to school in Livermore after their move to San Ramon.

2013:
Pretty much same as last year, however Arnav and Anuj aren't here anymore. I wish there would be more sleepovers. Kids have missed being together. Pooja is back home now and going to college (Las Positas) from home.

When was the last time I danced?

2012:
That would be 12/18/2011! The only reason I remember the date is that it was Priyank's engagement party in New York! :) It was lots of fun!

2013:
And THAT would be 8/19/2012 on Priyank's wedding! Shows how much of social life I have! There might've been little bit of dance at Rotary Club's Christmas party, but I don't remember much about it.

________ makes me happy.

2012:
Spending time with family and friends makes me happy. They are major part of my life.

2013:
Talking to Darshna made me happy today. I just found her contact info 2 weeks ago since I left India. It's been great reconnecting with all the high school friends.

Scrapbooking and  documenting life makes me happy too! I just counted today and I have scrapped 80+ pages about my daily life in last 5 months! That's the most I've ever done!

What did you have for breakfast today?

2012:
Green Smoothie! That's my typical breakfast for most morning.

2013:
Yeap, even though it's Sunday.. green smoothie was all I had for breakfast!

2014:
Green Smoothie!

How did you add art to your life today?

2012:
Humm.. not sure! I've spent most of my day at mom's home today. Since I slept over there last night and just came home after dinner. Kalpu and I sat in the backyard for the breakfast watching the most beautiful hills, trees, budding flowers on the trees. As we were tremendously busy unpacking after their move, we took time and just take in the natural beauty out there and watched the nature's canvas at work! We sneaked out once again in afternoon for few more minutes before going out for grocery shopping. The view is just breathtaking!

2013:
As I was in Neil's Boy Scout meeting, Urvi from India called me. so, after parents' meeting was over, I sneaked out (Again! a year later! lol) and called her back. Also talked to MJ while I was out there. It was such a beautiful weather with cool spring air that I was so glad that I got to enjoy those few minutes. It was symbolic to be so close to the nature, feeling the cool air while talking to MJ since my favorite memory of Santram mandir is of early morning when MJ comes out for the 'darshan'.

2014:
By adding few more answers here. It's been pretty rough months lately and just not into it. But I finally answered few more questions. It doesn't matter if some of the portion of my life isn't as rosy as I would want it to be, it's still part of me and I would want to remember it.. good and bad. That's the beauty of this project! Just be real! (11/14/14)

Do I have any regrets today?

2012:
Nope! It had been a great day! After work, went to Kalpu's new home. They're moving there tomorrow, so everyone was there to unpack some boxes. Most of the kitchen boxes got unpacked. From there, we all got home and had dinner.

2013:
Nope! no regrets! Made Bombay style sandwich for lunch today for the first time. I saw the video of it a while ago. So, I guess my regret would be why didn't I make this sooner! I turned out amazingly good!

2014:
JK has been diagnosed with borderline diabetes. He finished 2 costco sized bags of sweetened craisins in about a month that contains 29% of daily sugar. I said something to him about it and he jumped off on me saying I don't let him eat anything. Pretty soon, I'll ban him from eating anything at all.. he kept going on and on (of course, his mom was there). Maybe I should've just kept quiet and let him face the consequences. (11/14/14)

What's my next major deadline? What's it for?

2012:
Can't think of any deadlines. Living one day at a time. however, I REALLY need to give out the prizes for the digital scrapbooking awards. I don't know why, but I've been slacking at it. :(

2013:
No deadlines. However, I wish I can put the deadline on when to move out of this rental home and move into home of our own! Even moving/renting to moderate size home would make me happy.

If I want, I can set the deadline to finish our NY Trip (Priyank's wedding) book done by 1st week of June. Let's see how it goes. That's quite ambitious. :) I just started yesterday and it's 700+ photos!

2014:
Still living one day at a time.

Was today typical? Why? Why not?

2012:
Not at all! Ba and dada had 5:45AM flight to Louisiana, so JK left to drop them off at 4. Then, he came home at 8 to pick me up, since his car was still in repair. Avni and Neil have Spring break. So, I had asked dad to pick them up later in a day. Came home from work.. picked up kids from mom's and cooked roti for dinner. Everything else was already cooked from yesterday. Loaded the dishwasher. Watched TV with kids while I read the book.

2013:
It's kind of typical except the fact that kids have spring break in school. So, I left a bit late from home for work. I'll be going home as usual and not much going on in the evening.

2014:
Yeap, super typical as any other day around here. Went to Crossfit in the morning to attend 6AM class. Got home by around 8, did the routine chores (making smoothie, unload dishwasher, wash dishes, sweep, mop, vacuum... ) and then locked myself in my room except for lunch time. Took a nap after lunch. made dinner (mung daal, paratha), had dinner, did dishes and back again locked in my room. Avni and Neil are gone to friend's home for movie night. Will be back at 11. I live pretty exciting life right now! (11/14/14)

Who do I trust the most?

2012:
There are few whose opinions I trust the most. Darcy, Lisa, Pinal and Kalpu comes to mind the first.

2013:
Yeap, that's about it.. also, Tina (from work) and Theresa too. These are the only people I talk to when I need any advise, opinion.

2014:
Still the same list of people.

What makes me sad?

2012:
Feeling of loneliness. Feeling that I'm not able to share my dreams and visions.

2013:
Feeling like a failure to kids, where I can't get thru them to communicate with me. Them having to hide things from me. I've always made it clear for them that they can come to me for anything, yet, they feel that because of our difference of opinion, they can't really share their feelings with me. I hope I made it clear AGAIN to all 3 that I would always listen to them and work with them before judging them.

2014:
Not having moral support in my own home. Always being talked down. Feeling isolated and alone and stranger in my own home. Unable to provide for my family. Not being able to find the job even after 8 months of unemployment. Being at the rock bottom. (11/14/14)

Did I make someone laugh? Was it intentional?

2012:
Yes, but it was at someone's expense. Kalpu and Dharmesh were coming back from the Nepal trip today. They were actually scheduled to be back tomorrow. This morning I called mom to let her know that flight was 20 minutes early. Anuj answered the phone and idea just popped up in my head. I told him that his mom wasn't coming home today. It's April 1st today and she was playing April fool with them. She would be coming back tomorrow as scheduled. Both him and Arnav actually believed me! They had a good surprise when their mom and dad showed up at home!

2013:
Not really 'laugh', but I helped Kerry with one of her course and stayed late for her to get it passed thru production testing. She was SO grateful and overwhelmed about my help. For me it was no big deal, but she actually had tears in her eyes when she thanked me on our way home in parking lot!

2014:
Yesterday, when we were working out and Coach Brian told us to do shoulder shrugs with our dumbbells, I said, "oh, you mean, act like a teenager". "how was your day today?" Do a shoulder shrug dumbbell movement. So, London said, "Ripal, you're on the roll today. You're being comedian". Not sure what else I had before this, but he was cracking up at this. (11/14/14)

Other than that, one really good incident that I remember is when I had walked into the bank and ran my toe into the door, resulting in toe nail almost coming off. I was bleeding instantly, so instead of keep walking into the bank, I kind of ran, ok limped, to my car. Neil and Avni were in the car. They couldn't stop laughing that I was whining about my toenail. I think they were more relieved that it wasn't one of them who hurt my toe (as usual).

Four hours later, when I couldn't take the pain anymore, or not able to rip the nail off on my own, we decided to go to the emergency room. While we were there, JK texted kids that he's taken me to hospital. Pooja had no idea about my toe injury, so she was concerned about it. When I got home and she found out that we had gone to hospital because of my toe nail, she could NOT stop laughing about it. "Mom, of all the things (rock climbing, hiking, running, weight lifting, etc) you could get hurt from and end up in urgent care, you got hurt from WALKING in the bank???" BTW, this was my first ever visit to hospital other than visits for pregnancy, which made this whole thing epic!

2019:
After keep asking Jason (our manager) to let Ron work with us, He finally got to work with us. Just as expected, we had lots of laughing moments.